I swear.

I feel useless. No body knows what i feel. Feeling betrayed. i swear myself i will not let people see im dissappointed because of them. I swear to myself i will not trust anyone out there anymore. I swear to myself if nothing goes right, i will choose left even it will cost me my future. I just want to be happy in life. why sudden all unhappy things happen to me when i slowly started to taste happiness?


 I swear to myself i will not be betrayed anymore because before they betray me, i will betray them. i feel really useless. expelled, broken, betrayed. just fuck it all. I swear this things that made me into this, i will not find happiness inside it anymore, only fun. life is about fun is it? yes fun. it sounds better than happiness.


Fun vs Happiness. I think Fun wins. the cost to achieve happiness is full of tears, efforts, dissapointments, disciplines, endless efforts. But how about fun? for me u only need money to have fun. yes. its a lot easier than to achieve happiness that is full of lies. wait, dont assume me before u know what ive been through. dont think bad things about me. people made me like this. its their fault. i trust people too much. i trust them with my life. but what they give me??? i think they will not betray me but they betrayed me. Its killing me inside!!!! Fuck!!! Im dying inside!!! No one understands a shit!!!